Saturday, June 10, 2017




Over The Hump At Last


      As I wrote these blog entries, I was a bit worried that he would be upset with what I was about to publish.  I held my breath as I read each article to him, and to my surprise, he did not get angry but helped with the editing.   After the third article had been published, I asked him if what I had written had upset him in any way.  He calmly answered.

“It hurt to listen to it, and I was a bit angry, but what you wrote was true.  It happened.”

     During these last five months, life has slowly grown brighter, and there is less tension in the air.  Both of us now sleep through the night, and I do not lay awake for hours worrying about what was said yesterday or what question tomorrow will raise his hackles causing him to become quiet and disappear into a book.

“There’s no more adventure in our life.  We need to do something outside the house.”

  During happy hour one night, he calmly made this statement, and I was not sure I heard it correctly.  I just looked at him in surprise, and he went on to talk about the things we used to do.   As we reminisced, I suggested we should set aside one day a week to do something new.  At least get out of the house and meet new people.    

     I quickly read the newspaper to see what was going on in Savannah that would stimulate his interest. For me, this was a breakthrough, and I had to take advantage of it.  His activities for many years consisted of sleeping, shopping for groceries at Kroger and Wal-Mart, and sitting in front of his computer playing games and absorbing the news.  On occasion, he would go with me to play bridge. Only in the last four years has he been writing and actively gathering information on the computer to write his books.  

     I had always wanted to visit the Coastal Georgia Botanical Gardens, and they were only five miles away from our house.  Several times before, I said we should go see what they were growing behind the large bamboo grove, but my husband just became snarly and disappeared into his newspaper or took a nap.  He really didn’t want to go out of the house.   
 
      Our first outing was indeed to the Botanical Gardens. It was a lovely Saturday morning; there was a slight breeze, and everything was green. The most interesting section was the garden that featured trees and plants grown by the early Savannah settlers. As we strolled along the paths and read the informational signs before the green plants and trees, we learned the colonists who were interested in the production of silk had planted many mulberry trees.  

     We enjoyed a leisurely forty-five minute walk about the grounds before we headed home.  On the way home, he even said he enjoyed himself, and we needed to plan another short outing.   The big surprise for him was that he had done all that walking and he had very little pain in his knees.   
   
     Over the past seven years, he has dealt with the depression caused by his PTSD, the aging process, and several health problems – not great catastrophes, but constant little things such as bilateral cataract surgery, replacement of an upper bridge and fluctuating blood pressure.  I never knew which caused the most depression – the PTSD or the aging.